Aren’t we all on a quest for love and meaning?
Follow my transformational journey and see if it touches you.
Hi, I’m Ralph Winkelmeyer, a typical gay man of my generation telling stories that shed light on human folly, inner strength, the value of community, and ultimately the hope that comes from living through the challenges of extraordinary and mundane times.
My style? Sometimes poignant, sometimes funny, and (hopefully) never boring.
I’ll be adding new content every month. No preaching. No political screeds. Just connecting with you through personal musings and stories.
What You’ll Find Here
Personal and Gay History
I write about all of the life stages that came my way without an instruction manual: My dysfunctional home in St. Louis in the closeted 50s and 60s; coming out in college at age eighteen; spending the 70’s and 80’s in San Francisco getting lost in addiction during the heyday of gay liberation and the dark years of AIDS; moving to Minneapolis in 1989 to find solid recovery and eventually an abiding love in my late fifties, and my life now as a “gay elder.”
Addiction & Recovery
I write about how I eventually found healing from addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, and codependency—compulsions fueled by a world blackened by too much grief. Besides a lot of therapy, I credit my recovery to an ongoing, strong commitment to 12-step programs with four decades in substance-based recovery and thirty years of recovery from sex addiction and codependency, the so-called “behavioral addictions.”
Misadventures in Love
Although I was seeking love and connection, I often settled for much less. It took me a while to realize that all relationships, no matter how messy, are meaningful in their own way—they all led to profound changes that paved the way to the healthy relationships I thought I’d never have.
Writing Later in Life
I didn’t start writing until I retired from a creative retail career in my late fifties. Like most people of a certain age, I felt compelled to record the events of my life. I set my sights on publishing a memoir but after a brush with the highly competitive publishing business (been there, done that), I realized my true motivation for writing: to share my stories with others. My mission now is to use this venue to entertain, inform, and perhaps touch the hearts of my readers.
Connecting Generations
Baby Boomers, once on the younger side of the so-called “Generation Gap,” now find ourselves on the other side of this cultural chasm. I believe that my authentic musings and stories can provide a bridge to better connections between older and younger LGBTQ+ folk, and people of any persuasion.